Moonlight On A Streetlamp
by mooglehead
Summary: Hideki's cheap curtains interfere with his sleep, and insomnia means having a lot of quality time with your thoughts... Admittedly fluffy.


__

Moonlight on a Streetlamp

A Chobits fan fiction by Caitlin M

Moogleheadgirl@cs.com

Disclaimer: If you think I own Chobits, you are sadly mistaken. CLAMP owns it, and I can only pray that they will not take legal action against me for writing this.

Author's note: This takes place after book 5. Sort of. It makes the most sense after that point, anyway. I'm kind of ignoring the whole, "running after a sobbing Yumi" bit. Especially since that's when the book leaves off and I don't know what happens next.

***

It was truly amazing how dear a mass of circuits had become to him. When he first found her, he had simply wanted her to balance his checkbook and surf the internet and maybe even do _that_ sort of thing with him. Now he'd had her for so long, and she had proven herself incapable on the first two counts (and he would _never_ even think of doing the third with her). A long time ago, he'd think this made her useless. And it was true; she couldn't do any of the things that a persocom was supposed to do. But Chi meant much more to him than he would have though possible. 

He now thought of Chi as a person, and not a thing. And he was afraid it was getting worse, if that's how to put it. When she had collapsed, he was terrified she would be gone forever. When she was kidnapped, he didn't want to think about what she might be going through. 

When she got that look on her face… that sad, terrible face… he wanted to make that sadness go away. He wanted to banish it forever. _His Chi_ didn't deserve sadness. He would do whatever he could to make her happy. That's why he had held her like that. How could he not, when Chi had looked so forlorn? He didn't ever want to let go. If she was in his arms, he could protect her.

He felt like that more often now. He was completely incapable of taking care of Chi. He knew nothing about computers…if she was damaged in anyway, he would be of no help. And it was through his carelessness that she had been kidnapped (that was how he saw it, at any rate). But he still wanted to do everything he could for her. He just couldn't figure out _why_. Nor did he know at _when_ he began to feel that way.

It was the usual quandary, and it was chasing around his head with unusual enthusiasm that night. They had spent the day running errands. Paying for the book Chi had inadvertently stolen when she was abducted, letting various people know that she had been found safely. When they stopped by the bakery, Chi mentioned that she wanted to work, so she could make money for him and make him happy. Her words… for some reason, they really affected him. Seeing her smile at him like that. He felt a big squeeze around his heart. That was how Chi described her own emotions, and he had to admit that it was a good way of putting it. He felt like a hand had just reached into his chest and just slowly closed its fingers around his heart until he thought he might be sick.

It was hard to believe that she would find him so important, that she would want so badly to please him. What had he done for her? Did his bumbling best to teach her about the world, was rather incompetent at taking care of her. He had done nothing for her that anyone else in the world couldn't have done a better job of. It was _Chi_ who was special and important. How strange that she would have it the wrong way around.

Still, it made him strangely happy to know.

Which was why he couldn't sleep now. He could blame the light from the full moon and the nearby street lamps filtering in through his cheap curtains. Or the fact that he was sharing his bed with no less than three persocoms. They were cute, certainly. But they had very little regard for the comfort of their bedmate. There had been more than one occasion that he had to remove Plum from his face first thing in the morning.

He slung one arm over his eyes to block out the pale light invading his room, and rested the other on his chest. He'd try to see if maybe, _just maybe_, he could manage to think of nothing at all. Just for a while. To see if he could do it. So he closed his eyes and started not thinking.

~

Hideki said that people squeeze the hand of someone they like because it makes them happy. No, not squeeze, hold. They _hold_ hands, that's what he said.

Could she hold hands with Hideki?

Maybe she could. 

She would try.

~

Hideki was not getting very far in not thinking when he felt a tiny, soft hand creep across his chest and timidly—oh so carefully—twine its slim fingers with his. His eyes snapped open and he turned his head to see Chi watching his face apprehensively.

"Hideki said people do this to be happy." Her grip tightened for a moment. Just a quick heartbeat. "It works. Chi is happy to hold Hideki's hand."

He felt the squeeze around his heart again.

~

He let go. Hideki let go of Chi's hand. His big, warm hand slipped out from between her fingers. Chi felt as though the world had ended. 

__

He let go. Her heart was going to burst.

It wasn't fair of her. Maybe it would make _her_ happy to hold his hand, but it wouldn't make him happy. Maybe she had made him _unhappy_ by holding her hand. She shouldn't have done it. Chi is such a bad girl—

Then Hideki turned onto his side and wrapped both arms around her shoulders. He pulled her close to him. Close, so close. She could feel his breath on her neck as he buried his head in his shoulder. Could hear his heart beating when he sat up and held her to his chest.

Chi had thrown her arms around Hideki many times. Whenever she was happy, she hugged him. And he made her happy so many times. But Hideki had only put his arms around her once. Twice now. 

She turned so she could hold him, too. She liked how warm he was, how his arms felt around his shoulders. How she felt like she might melt into him.

"Don't," he whispered.

"Don't what, Hideki?"

"Don't ever look like that. When I let go…I only wanted to change my grip, but you looked like… I don't know. You were in pain. I hated that it hurt you. I don't want to hurt you. I'll never hurt you. So don't ever look like that again."

"Chi is not a bad girl for holding Hideki's hand?"

"Chi is never a bad girl."

"And holding Chi's hand does not make Hideki unhappy?"

"Never."

"And Chi does not make Hideki unhappy?"

He was quiet for a moment. She tried very hard not to make the face he didn't like, but it was hard, because she wasn't entirely sure which face it was.

"You make me happy just by being you. I'm happy to have you with me. I love teaching you. I love the way you hug me everyday. I love that you want to make me happy. I love— "

~

He stopped again. It would be a very strange thing to say to a persocom. But she wasn't really a persocom to him anymore. She was a person, just like any other. He had never seen a computer like Chi. No computer was capable of all the emotions he saw in her. So maybe he could say it.

He heard his sheets crinkle, felt his boxers twist slightly as she shifted position. Her legs pulled closer to her body and she slipped back a bit so she was sitting in his lap.

~

She knew what he was going to say. He didn't need to say it, really. She could tell in the way he was rubbing her back, even though he probably didn't realize he was doing it. She could see it in his eyes when he looked down at her, all unsure and apprehensive. She could hear it in his heart, beating so fast against his chest she was half afraid it would pop out. Maybe he didn't know how to say it. Maybe she should say it for him.

"Chi loves you, too, Hideki."

Through Hideki's very cheap curtains, the pale light moved across the floor, unforgivably brilliant in the middle of the night. But Hideki didn't particularly care at the moment.

The End. 

Yay! Ok, be sure and write me and tell me what you think. I got this little bit of extremely fluffy fluff in my head, and stayed up late to write it down for you guys. Um…it's up to you to decide what happens next. I leave it to your vivid imaginations. 

Just to clear something up: Have you ever had something so weird and strange and exciting happen and you _WANT_ it, but it's really scary because it changes a lot? This happens to me sometimes, but I can't assume that everyone else feels this way. When that happens to me, I start to feel sick. Like I want to throw up. Even though it's good. That's kind of what I was aiming for in describing Hideki's feelings. I hope you didn't get the wrong idea.

Anyway. Thanks for reading!


End file.
